The New York Yankees are Disgusting and Greedy Monsters with No Soul 

Since I had an inkling of what the game of baseball was, I’ve been a fan of the New York Yankees. Geographical location, television availability, and paternal command, all played key factors into cheering for the Bronx Bombers.

But, I’ve had it. 

Oh, I’ll still root for the team on game days, but the days of making excuses for this team and the decisions they make are over. Dead. Finito. 

These feelings probably should have started when during a Red Sox-Yankee blowout at the old stadium, I asked an usher when I could sit down front with the halves and beautiful people. He peered deep into my eyes,smiled with glee and said, “Never”. 

Or maybe when they tore down the only baseball home I’d ever known and erected a pile of steel and shit with no juice, zero intimacy, and insulting “How Can I Help You?” sign bearers. 

Tear down this “House that was built on serving $12 beers before it was the norm to sell $12 beers ” or go fuck yourself. That’s how you can help me, unhappy Yankee employee.

However, the Yanks were not done disparaging it’s fan base because last week they went all in. They leaned out the car window Tupac style with two middle fingers firmly extended in our direction. They actually made it harder for fans to “enjoy” the Yankee experience. 

Stubhub Print at home tickets are now extinct in the South Bronx. Get your hard tickets or enjoy the thrill of the Yankee Ticket exchange! The mere name of this “exchange” process makes me want to vomit all over the confines of the cabana hut on the Mezzanine level. Yes, a fucking cabana hut with NO VIEW of the field. At a baseball game! 

Ironically, the move to ban the printing option is to combat fraud. The only team in American sports combating fraud from print at home tickets is apparently the New York Yankees. God Bless their tiny pre-growth size Grinch hearts.

So, gone are the days for those going to game on a whim and printing tickets. If Lon Trost, Randy Levine, and the brothers Steinbrenner think I’m paying surging face value to indulge, they are sadly, SADLY, mistaken. 

But, to add insult to injury and speaking of Lon Trost COO of the Bombers and doppelgänger for the sniffing accountant in Seinfeld, he went out of his way to minimize the importance and existence of the typical and plebeian Yankee fan. 

Circling back to the reasons for the hard ticket/mobile option only, he uttered other reasons for the ban. 
On the subject of non-civilized fans sitting in the obnoxious moat, Trost said, “Quite frankly, the fan may be someone who has never say in a premium location. So, that’s a frustration to our existing fan base”

Basically, the Yankees are no longer concerned about a possible gap of income equality at the Stadium. In fact, they are doing every villainous and rotten tactic to squeeze the baseball breath from the average fans useless and non-“premium” neck.

The douchebags in the moat are hipster assholes on Snapchat and more concerned about the brand of socks they’ll buy this weekend than the action on the field. They are not royal debutantes.  And even if they were, Queen Elizabeth was tough enough to pass along Dugout Dogs that were ultimately found to have a finger in it.  Why can’t Margo Pisspants who is on Periscope or Jules Farg enjoying rare South Indian caviar pretend to be common and ordinary for 3 hours? 

So, to end this not so short diatribe nicely I’ll say this-I should stop rooting for the Yankees, the most un fan-friendly team in North American sports (I should say world, but there’s probably some lacrosse team in North Korea where fans who don’t cheer enough are fed to blood thirsty house cats) , but I can’t.  I enjoy baseball and the game too much.  They’re like that beer that puts you over the breaking point from buzzed to drunk.  You know you shouldn’t do it, but you love it and do it anyways.   But, the days of disagreeing with Red Sox fans on who the real Evil Empire is are over.

The Evil Empire resides in the South Bronx and that’s NOT a good  thing. 

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