Barry Bonds and his Friend, God, Know He Belongs in the Hall of Fame

New Miami Marlins hitting coach and perpetual liar Barry Bonds spoke to the media at his inductory press conference Saturday and the topic turned towards his Hall of Fame eligibility chances.

“I don’t really have an opinion about it”, Bonds said.  The next sentence out of Bonds’s mouth was,“I know that I’m a Hall of Fame player”.

Well, Barry you obviously have some opinion about it because this is only the 28th time I’ve heard you say you don’t care about the Hall of Fame only to follow it up with a quote coated in Bondsian smugness of right to be in Cooperstown.

Speaking of that charming smugness, “But in my heart and soul, and God knows I’m a Hall of Famer”.

Stupid baseball writers, don’t you know God and Barry Bonds are on the same enchanted team?  Differing opinions of the holy duo meet the same fate as Christians in the Colisieum, so buck up or meet the famed Barry guilt trip du jour on daily repeat.

There’s no doubt that Barry Bonds put up arguably the greatest numbers the game has ever seen.  However, there’s also no doubt he cheated the game and made a mockery of the record books in his final years.

Now, a much slimmer Bonds (I thought athletes got bigger when they retired,not smaller), is telling us the almighty one is ceremoniously standing pat with him and not those judgmental baseball writers with their crooked fingers of deceit.

While the writers voting on HOF entrance aren’t always those of the most upstanding practices and integrity, using God to make people feel sorry for your decision to go dirty is a new low even for a scoundrel like Bonds.

(God was not available for comment on this story)


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