Every year, we are forced to celebrate a feast honoring one or more early saints named Valentinus. And we do that by following the repeated instructions from billions of radio ads and order flowers from Pro Flowers, 1-800-Flowers, or what ever crappy gift giving operation that eventually forces us into submission.
But, life on February 14th is rough for some. Poor Valentine’s Day Mongos. These are their stories.
Still waiting on that bloom.
The garbage behind it makes it even more shitty, which is quite a talent.
Those are actual hearts breaking.
Sad Valentine’s Day puns are the saddest of them all.
Cold blooded. Literally. Frozen. Now, my puns are awful.
Oh, even radio advertiser whore Shari’s Berries are getting in on the awfulness.
This got awful and comfortable. I’m out.