The Story of Mike Francesa’s D according to Jay Glazer

And things were never quite the same.

“Game of inches” meant you know. “Yuge” was “YUGE”. Mike’s sense of self-importance and otherworldly confidence suddenly made a lot of sense.

On February 4 at 5:38 PM, Deadspin sent out a Tweet that shook #MongoNation, the media world and possibly Earth to its very core (caw). The story is well-known at this point, but for the official record, earlier in the day, Fox Sports’ Jay Glazer (Jake Laser) announced on CBS Sports Gio and Jones the following:

I got to run for Francesa, and then—my first really solid assignment was at the NFL Draft in ‘91. I got to take Mike Francesa back and forth from the bathroom. And, I’m not gonna lie, copped a couple of peeks. It’s unbelievable. It’s amazing. He is like—he should be in porn. He really should.

There are so many layers to this story which may have been touched on by the Twitter community, but I’ll try to explore them deeper (giggity) now.

  1. Why was Jay Glazer looking at Mike’s dick? On second thought, forget it, I’m not sure I want to know.
  2. Will this affect the Glazer/Francesa relationship? Jay is/was a “friend of the show”. I’m genuinely interested if his appearances will continue or is he cut off. Mike does seem to value Jay’s insider info. and the two seem to enjoy each other on-air.
  3. Did this produce the most original/hilarious content from #MongoNation? Yes. Yes.
  4. Did Mike find this amusing/funny/entertaining or was he really fucking angry? No. He hated it. He didn’t find it funny and was probably extremely angry at Glazer. My reasoning is based on two calls Mike received on Friday, from Glen in New Jersey and Tim in Milford (thanks @RNs_Funhouse). Mike absolutely lost it, more than usual, at Glen’s prank. As I heard this live, all I could reason was this was his salvo at possible pranksters that were to follow. The anger in his voice was real and hardly directed at Glen, it was at the situation and what was possibly coming (heyy yo). Is there a way to prove this? Absolutely not, but it’s a reasonable assumption. Tim made a valiant effort to probe Mike on the Glazer report, but Mike like a vintage Mutombo swatted him away and rendered Tim nearly speechless. When asked by Mike if he “wanted to talk about the Super Bowl?” Tim responded he did not and that was that. Neither phone call was met with any sort of laughter or light-heartedness, Mike sounded pissed.

Those are the big (grow up) questions that have come to mind since this news broke on Thursday. I’m eager to see if there are lingering affects to this story in the weeks and months to come. The only similar Mike related story I could come up with was his falling asleep (“I nevah fell asleep”) incident with Sweeny Murti. It’s something he’s been made fun of and made fun of and made fun of  and still to this day gets brought up. Not once has he laughed it off or made light of it. It’s just a topic that still seems to touch a nerve whenever it’s brought up. This could be similar moving forward.

There was hope on Friday’s show he would make a joke about it (“yes it’s true!”), but he didn’t and I’m not terribly surprised.

Perhaps at FrancesaCon on March 12, if the right chant is thought of by the Mongos, Mike would address it in some way. Though, if it’s never addressed, it will live on in Mike lore summed up by the great Bill Buchanan (@BigActionBill).

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