These days, Yoenis Cespedes is hammering home runs for the New York Mets, as they eventually will lock up the NL East and join the cool kids in the MLB playoffs.
But, he wasn’t always arguably the best player in the second half of the 2015 MLB season. He was an international movie star.
That’s right. Many may have forgotten the ultra, umm, “unique” promotional training video for Cespedes as he made his trip to Los Estados Unidos.
The original video has been stripped of its audio on YouTube because of copyright infringement from artists such as Christopher Cross and Swizz Beats. Interesting combo, I know.
But, the majority of the video has been uploaded with audio straight from an 1980s action movie that inserts an obligatory romantic sex scene. Hardcore Sax everywhere.
In case you’ve never seen the video, let’s review.
It starts out with a Star Wars like scrolling text of the desperation of the world and only one man’s baseball skills can help humanity live another day. That’s right. None other than “El Talento” or “La Potencia”. Cespedes either way you slice it.
From there we move on to highlights of Cespedes hitting home runs in super slow-mo because like “Pics or it didn’t happen” super slo-mo is essential in spinning a tale. Many of the highlights are from WBC or Cuba games where he gazes at homeruns longer than it takes Karl Maone to shoot a free throw.
Enjoying that steamy music yet?
Through the power of high school AV club graphics, we move on to training, which features a shirtless Cespedes running in front of a camera around a track. There is no official time clock running, but he appears to be running fast. That’s my expert opinion.
From there we move to the weight room, Yoenis waves to an imaginary crowd, poses, dances and then vertically jumps on top of a 45 inch box. That’s very impressive, but you know what makes it even more impressive? Slow-Mo!
Now we’re back on the field and Cespedes is catching pop-ups behind his back. Not sure why an major-league would find this particularly impressive unless they were forming a baseball equivalent of the Harlem Globetrotters.
The rest of the video consists of more working out where Cespedes squats two full size men and more super slo-mos of him hitting bombs in Cuba.
We end the “showcase” with a long list of Wikipedia like detail of Cespedes’s demographics and baseball statistics. It’s like the long list of info and outtakes at end of a movie that people are unsure to stay or leave for. But if you left, you missed these great clips from the original video:
-Cespedes thanking his mom for her hard work as a mother and grooming him for baseball stardom.
-Cespedes family dancing including a topless sweaty man.
-And of course, Yoenis himself tending to a succulent rotating pig at the Cespedes Family BBQ.
What is the hold up? Why isn’t this in the Smithsonian yet?
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