“Yo, fuck that acorn gathering shit. I want to get white girl wasted, son”
That’s presumably what a squirrel said after it caused some damage this weekend at a British bar.
Workers at The Honeybourne Railway Club in Evesham, England found the boozed up rodent stumbling around and repeating the same tired joke over and over again after finding smashed pint glasses and spilled suds everywhere on Sunday morning.
(Velvet Underground–Sunday Morning blaring everywhere)
Apparently, he was able to use his shitty little claws to operate the tap and indulge in some brew. “He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say” said the club secretary.
No word on if the squirrel cornered some chicks to brag about his Oxy hookup or to wax poetic about his suped up Nissan Maxima with an ultra rare limited spoiler.
Big decision now. He either grows a bushy beard, guzzles strictly craft beer, and goffes at the English equivalent of Coors Light. Or he mindlessly orders Jägerbombs until he’s blue in the face, repeating the phrase “Jägerbombs” until he can no move his lips.
Since, most squirrels die in their first year of life, live it up, BRO!
But, ultimately the choice is yours.
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