In The News, People Want to Honor A Street Sign For Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, That’s News

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Every once in a while, a story grips the nation, reinforces liberty, and embraces the spirit of being an American.

This is not one of those stories.

ISIS? No, secondary. Ebola? Barely relevant. Naming a street in the Bronx to honor Jennifer Lopez? THAT…IS NEWS. Well, Edgardo Luis Rivera, thinks it very important.

He’s started an aggressive online petition to name a stretch of Blackrock Ave to Jennifer Lopez Way. Like I said, super important.

Notoriously, Ms. Lopez has been absent from her old neighborhood in the past. She has claimed she’s a neighborhood girl, “Jenny from the Block” if you will. But, in reality I can picture her as a fire-breathing bitch who would make a hazmat suit a requirement before interacting with “locals”.

But, while I mock the efforts of Mr. Rivera, his petition is picking up steam and he’ll be heard in front of the Community Board 9 transportation meeting on November 9th. However, I wouldn’t doubt he’s upstaged when abruptly and unannounced Lopez shows up, dances, sings a mashed up version of 80’s hip-hop anthem, scowls at the audience, and commands every one in the room clap or face dire uncertainty.

While it may not be simple to change a street name, it’s happened before for former New York baseball greats Willie Mays and Mariano Rivera. And they weren’t even from New York! And J-Lo is! This could happen, right?

Wrong.

The board’s street policy states nominees have to be “deceased or terminally ill”. So going forward, I’m not really sure where that puts the health or being alive conditions for “The Say Hey Kid” and Mo.

Now, I don’t mean to shit all over Rivera and his dream of honoring Hollywood’s most famous caboose. In simple terms, he’s a fanboy and his passionate is deeply rooted within his unique ummm…fandom.

Honestly, Im no different, but my fandom steers toward a big fat man on the radio who yells at people from 1pm-6:30pm every weekday except for the summer because he supposedly works so hard all year long.

But, where the difference lies is this. If Mongo Nation ever requested a serious professional campaign to honor Mike Francesa with a street sign, I’m going to have to pull away from one nation. Slowly fade back into reality. Back to important issues concerning the country .

Now excuse me while I delve into tales of freedom and honor that are bigger than street signs.

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