Erin Andrews Replaces Pam Oliver as Top FOX Sideline Reporter. World says, “Eh.Ok”

20140715-102637-37597503.jpgIf you’re engulfed in the ultra- “important” world of sideline reporting, then this switcharoo is a blockbuster if there ever was one.

In a move that shook the “industry” to its core, longtime spewer of useless information, Pam Oliver, is being replaced by a person with a shorter career of spewing useless information, Erin Andrews, as the top mouthpiece on NFL fields for FOX.

It’s ok. Breathe.

Now I know what many are thinking. “You misogynistic jerk . It’s 2014. Sorry women have entered YOUR sports.”

Well, if you were thinking that you’d be wrong. I’m an equal opportunist sideline reporting hater. I mean seriously, who could actually enjoy listening to that pipsqueak Ken Rosenthal?

Let’s face it. Outside of uncomfortable incidents like Joe Namath drunkenly trying to plant one on Suzy Kolber or evil Jim Gray sadistically harassing evil Pete Rose, the position is virtually useless.

More times than not, the reporter either regurgitates something a broadcaster just said or proclaims something that could easily be displayed as a graphic. And to be honest , the awkward cut scene from play to a reporter just standing there like a fool when a game is being played never sits well with me.

In no way am I discounting the hard work they put in day in and day out. But, in reality the only purpose they might serve could be injury updates or breaking live news. And as Howard Cossell displayed,a broadcaster is more than capable of being spectacular on the latter.

Craig Sager in a George Costanza body suit couldn’t generate a quarter of the buzz Cossell did there.

However, when all was said and done, FOX must have been so impressed by the astronomical amount of laziness in Erin Andrews’s Pro-Biotic commercials , that she had to get the promotion. Pam Oliver, now relegated to a lesser role in the sidelines, won’t even have any field face time after this year. Her and her not forehead(emerging to a five-head. Ok now I’m being sexist) will be relegated to behind the scenes work.

So, congrats to sports on-field reporters, your employment carousel is actually “news”. But, in reality, we really wish it wasn’t.

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