I Hate Alex Rodriguez, But I Miss Him


Honestly, it’s hard to believe these words are departing my mouth. As soon as they are heard aloud, they instantly define all comparisons to what a hypocrite is. Rallying vehemently against an entity only to switch it up. It’s almost like Marlo Stanfield was talking to me when he said, “You want it to be one way…but it’s the other way”. Well, here goes.

I miss Alex Rodriguez.

Yes, after all the mixtures of groaning and laughter dissipate, I’ll explain.

I get it. I’m that guy that in real life that butted into your conversations or walked into your timelines on the internet and spewed my anti A-Rod vitriol. Yes, I am that guy. The same guy who showered in his unprecedented suspension as if I had won something of note out of the deal.

This year’s Yankee team is A-Rodless. But, they’ve added new and fresh talent like Carlos Beltran, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Brian McCann. And with that new crop of talent comes monumental amounts of boredom.

I get it though. For what seems like an eternity, that’s been the Yankee way. Head down. Run hard. Shut up. There usually wasn’t room for hot dogs with extra thick mustard. But, then I thought about Reggie Jackson.

I’m too young to say I saw the man play in his prime. In fact, my childhood recollections involve him trying to kill the queen of England, but that plot was ultimately foiled by Enrico Pollozo. Everybody knows that.

But, I do know the guy was a diva of all divas. He sashayed in style and let everyone know about it. If you ask fans from that era about Reggie, you’ll probably get a mixed response of love and hate. Some people like Hollywood, some say leave it in California. But, they always remember him and their opinions are always passionate, whatever side someone stands on.

In Rodriguez’s case, his profile is a bit different. His pro baseball years come in an age of instant information about any possible thing, so an opinion can change at any moment and “go viral”. And let’s not forget about Alex’s never ending washing machine cycle of -Take steroids, Lie, Repeat.

All in all, I doubt #13 has become some humanitarian who truly cares about creatures great and small in his year long absence from the game. In fact, I’m sure he’s the same egotistical, self-indulged narcissist he’s always been. In reality, if A-Rod went in full “Fuck the World” mode, he’d probably be liked much better than the phony choreographed douche he is.

But nevertheless, the excitement that he brings on a daily level, good or bad, is sorely missed.

Eternal WFAN host Steve Somers constantly refers to Rodriguez as “The Lightning Rod” (for attention). It’s a perfect name for a phony guy who will do anything for the back pages. Anything to have his name in large print, whether it be Broadway or on the cover of US Weekly. Entertainment either way you slice it.

Excuse me, I have to finish this large piece of humble pie.

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