Too Bad, Bums! You’re Going To Work On Baseball’s Opening Day


There are only two national holidays dedicated to non-presidential people, in that being Christopher Columbus and Martin Luther King Jr. Ironically, the intentions, actions, and legacies of both are drastically different. Columbus was a genocidal maniac, by the way.

But, when it comes to holidays dedicated to annual events, we have a copious amount. Many are legit holidays honoring the eating of a turkey or the birth of Santa. While some are so dumb you have to scratch your head that they even exist. Don’t forget March 9th is National Blueberry Popover Day. Biggie, would shed a tear.

With all that being said, the idea of baseball’s Opening Day falls somewhere in between.

Don’t get me wrong, baseball is by far my favorite sport and the mere mention of Opening Day conjures of up sweet thoughts of spring, youth, happiness, nirvana, yadayadayada. The smell of freshly cut grass and (insert nostalgic baseball cliche here) are just some of the many reasons this petition is gaining steam.

But, people…Come on.

This movement is not pushing to have the ceremonial day stacked along with the National Pig in a Blanket Day (April 24) or National Eat What You Want Days (May 11) of the land. No, people are actually demanding to have the federal government shut down for baseball’s annual opener.

One major issue is-when is Opening Day anymore? Usually, you have one series in another country (Which does not excite the lighthearted Zach Greinke), a Sunday night opener, and one or two days of rollout day games. Are all those days holidays?

And what if it rains? Does the public sit at home from work with a sad and diminutive pennant, staring out the window with extreme feelings of melancholy, saying “Go Team”? Ugh, that’s depressing. I’d rather be at work.

I applaud Budweiser, former big leaguer Ozzie Smith, and the bags of money Budweiser is giving to former big leaguer Ozzie Smith for their recognizing of the beauty and all around fun that surrounds opening day.

But, let’s get real.

This whole national begging is about two things. One being our love of baseball and the second is that people don’t want to go to work. Have we really become that blatant that we have to announce it to everyone?

People have been calling out of work for baseball games for over a hundred years and never needed a designated day to do it.

So, in closing, while we celebrate and cherish our diamond stars from yesteryear, don’t forget the Average Joes’ before us. Follow in their footsteps and call out on your own time.


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