Florida, step your game up. A lonley Londoner needed some bovine companionship, but got the horns instead it was revealed today. Last September, 61 year-old Paul Lovell was observed by a couple removing his shorts and attempting the timeless art of seduction with an attractive cow just north of London, England. However, he felt the feeling a many of men have experienced: rejection. But, he wasn’t leaving this field of wonderment unsatisfied. No, there was a sheep that was just asking for a little tender loving care. No word on if the deed was done. But, at that point in the court proceedings, the jury burst into laughter, much to the chagrin of the judge and presumably Lovell. The case is still pending, however the prosecutor asked to have “fellatio with a cow” added to “outraging public indecent”, just for good measure. For the time being, Lovell is on bail with the condition he does not go back to the scene of the alleged pasture of love. I can almost hear the voiceover guy from the Liberty Mutual commercials-(exasperated sigh) “Humans”.
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