Bigfoot Hunter Claims To Have Killed Bigfoot And Has Proof. Will Soon Be Revealed He Has No Proof.

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Rest easy, Roger Patterson. We got’em.

Actually, we probably don’t, but a steadfast crazy man says he caught and killed the immortal and legendary “Bigfoot”.

Noted Bigfoot hunter (obviously) Rick Dyer says he shot and killed the beast in a lush,fertile. wooded area of California near Loop 1604 and Highway 151 in September 2012.

So, 16 months later he’s telling the world of his remarkable feat. He has come forward as his investors, who had control of the hairy, smelly carcass, returned the body to its rightful owner. I can honestly say I was not aware of the thriving and bustling market of Bigfoot investors.

“It is the real deal. It’s Bigfoot and Bigfoot’s here”, Dyer boasted. “And I shot it and now I’m proving it to the world.”

He seems pretty sure of himself. I’m convinced!

But, if you’re not then prepare to believe, as Dyer will be taking the deceased Sasquatch on a North American tour and will charge a fee for a viewing that can only be imagined. No word if the bearded lady and world’s smallest horse will opening each show.

Basically two things will come out of this dog and pony show. First, Dyer will be exposed as an extraordinary fraud. Never can I understand why these Bigfoot experts/hunters/freaks think they’ll get away with fleecing the always skeptical public.

And secondly, we will continue to have to endure an endless amount of overhyped and unfulfilling “Search for Bigfoot” shows, which fail to find the ape-like humanoid 100% of the time.

Sigh. Well, Mr. Patterson. Well have always have slide 352.

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