Everyone remembers the Puppy Bowl, right?
It’s the annual Super Bowl halftime show competitor to either no talent clowns of today or geriatric stars of yesteryear rocking it out in an ultra long set with a clearly fake audience cheering them on. For a few minutes, the Puppy Bowl allows us to relax and watch cute puppies scamper around, smell each others nether regions and take the always hilarious dump on the field. For about 3.5 minutes, the whole spectacle is hilarious until the prospect of another beer or cigarette break kicks in and then the pups are soon and quickly forgotten.
Well, the Hallmark Channel saw an opening for trying to keep our attention span fixated on the their product and they took it. Enter the big guns. Enter Yankee’s radio play-by-play man John Sterling.
Sterling, along with Beth Stern a noted shelter animal activist, will be the ears to our just delighted eyes on Super Bowl Sunday as the first ever Kitten Bowl gets underway. Beth Stern, wife of Howard, has been involved in animal causes for eons, while Sterling is well…not.
If you’ve listened to Yankee games, you know that Sterling is certainly not the best at what he does. “Um, we don’t have a monitor” However, he has proven that by repeating catch phrases, thinking five plays ahead, and being downright jovial about everything can entertain the masses.
So, what nuggets of wonderment will John drop on February 2nd? I’m sure he’s locked in the lab with some smooth and agreeable scotch working hard for maximum entertainment value. Perhaps something like, “What a cute little Taby. Hey, pussycat. Can i fancy you a feast of a lifetime? Check out the newest Fancy Feast flavor for your feline”. Or, “What a puuuuurfect play by mittens! Speaking of perfect, check out Purina brand products for your kitty today!”
I’m merely an amateur. So, I’m sure Sterling’s calls will ooze with class, grace and professionalism. As for Stern, she has some big shoes to fill working alongside Sterling, as he is usually paired with his Yankee companera Suzyn Waldman. Will Stern gush over the kittens like Waldman does the Yankee players? That’s a tough act to follow.
Let’s hope Sterling bring’s that same enthusiasm he has for baseball as he does for kittens.